


Millicent is Missing

by Xperine



Series: The Adventures of Kylo Ren: Dark Leader of the Knights of Ren, Grandson of the Coolest Sith Ever, and All Around Totally Shredded Badass -By Kylo Ren [3]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Knit Clothing, Lost things, Pets, Sorry Not Sorry, Typos, Winter, bad grammar, general panic, pink socks, small Harry Potter reference
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-07
Updated: 2017-04-07
Packaged: 2018-10-16 00:02:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10559960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xperine/pseuds/Xperine
Summary: The heating on the cruiser is broken, and so is Hux's heart. Millicent has disappeared. Will Kylo, Phasma, and Hux be able to find her so Hux will stop complaining? It's a big ship, and the temperature is dropping...Be witness to yet another display of Kylo and his eight-pack's abilities. Yes he does indeed have one. No, I'm not making it up at all. He just always wears a cape because it's more intimidating. Oh, you want to see it? Sorry, it's too cold. And your brain would probably explode. But it's there. I promise.A completely true and i'll kill you if you disagree autobiography by Kylo Ren





	

“Where, where where WHERE?!?!?!” shouted Hux. His door was open and all sorts of things were flying out. Books, extra blankets, various maps, furniture, were all shoved or thrown out of his room. Even his bonsai collection had been moved. It made it nearly impossible to wade through the door. Still, Kylo managed. He had never seen Hux so distraught, it was slightly disturbing. 

“Hux, what in the galaxy is the matter? Have you lost something?” asked Kylo. Hux didn’t notice him and bound effortlessly over the pile blocking the door, green and silver knit scarf flapping behind him. He proceeded to run up and down the hallway like a headless tauntaun until he crashed into the immovable force know as Phasma. She herself was in full armour and wearing a pair of orange earmuffs over her helmet. 

“Hux, calm yourself. Such a display is most unprofessional.” Hux ignored her too.

“Where did she go, where is she??? She could be anywhere, lost and alone... I HAVE TO FIND HER”

Ah. It made a bit more sense now. 

“Where did who go?” asked Phasma

“MILLICENT!!” Hux cried, “I haven’t seen her all day! Not at her breakfast time, not when she comes and watches me work, nothing! She walks around the common rooms sometimes, and well, cats are mysterious and all, but when she didn’t come back for lunch... What if she got out? What if she is hurt? And needs attention and love?? Phasma, you’ve got to help me, and-” Hux looked right at Kylo for the first time. “YOU.” Hux suddenly lunged at Kylo. “YOU DID THIS. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY BEAUTIFUL ANGEL?”

Kylo was taken back. Hux had grabbed his collar and was shaking him like a maraca. “Me?” said Kylo. “How dare you accuse _me_ of taking your savage beast?” Not like it was something he wouldn’t do. Good idea actually, if only he had thought of it before. But something bothered him about being accused of something he didn’t do. “Why in the system would I even try?”

“Because” Hux seethed. “This was all because of the time she did her business in that precious pile of ash you keep in your room! And you wanted revenge!”

“Such a course of events does seem logical” 

“You’re not helping, Phasma” Kylo replied. “Let go of me. If I help you find your stupid pet, will you stop whining?”

“Yes,” said Hux calming down a little. “But if I find out it was your fault, you will suffer so much even burning on Mustafar would be a better alternative” 

Kylo snorted. “Yeah, what will you do?”

Hux got a nasty light in his eyes. “ _I’ll light all of your highly flammable hair products on fire_ ”

Kylo swallowed. Phasma stepped in. “Alright. First things first. Take a deep breath and think about where she was last.”

Hux took a deep breath. Steam was almost visible in the cold air. Something had gone berserk in the lower levels of the cruiser, and the air conditioners were on full blast. Teams were doing their best to shut it off and get the boiler functional again, but nothing much had happened. Hence, all officers in winter apparel. Most soldiers were fine as their armor was meant to survive sub-zero temperatures, but Kylo had had to put on some rather large pink socks. Yes, they did clash terribly with his black fleece-lined cape, but it was warm.

“Last time I saw her was last night curled up on the bed. When I woke up she was gone”

“Did you leave your door open?”

“I always leave the cat-flap functional so she can go outside if she wants. I’m pretty sure that the door to the main ship was closed though, and she doesn’t have a flap there.”

“Well,” said Phasma, thinking. “She wasn’t in my room”

“Or mine,” Kylo added. Ever since that poop incident he had made sure to lock his.

“And she isn’t in any of the common rooms. Do you have a tracker implanted in her?”

Hux looked aghast. “No, never. I would never take away her secrecy like that! What if she were carrying classified information, vital to the First Order, and someone was able to hunt her down?”

Kylo sighed. “Well, let's go check the door to the main ship. You’ve completely demolished your room, she might be there”

The three of them walked to the entrance and looked around. Authorization codes were needed to get in and out, and the door was working like normal. Then Kylo tripped on something and fell on the ground. Now, he didn’t trip because he wasn’t paying attention. No. No no no. Dark lords are always on alert and have highly trained reflexes and never ever stub their toe and maybe break it because they were eating a large plate of pancakes and got distracted so they walked into a sofa on game night. Where did you get that idea. It was simply just that he was too busy thinking up possible escape routes for the cat and solving difficult math equations in his head that perhaps he maybe possibly didn’t notice the air vent cover lying in the middle of the hallway. THAT’S how deep in thought he was. Woah. ( _Kylo you're so smart, we love you!_. I know I know)

“I knew it!” Hux wailed, crying into Phasma’s chest. “She out there in the ship. The ship is huge! How will we ever find her? Oh my darling Millicent! Boo hoo! Moan! Whimper, whine!”

Kylo was getting really sick of this complaining. “Oh, pull yourself together you big baby. We’ll find you stupid cat if just so I can go back to my room and wrap myself in a blanket. Now come on.” Kylo grabbed Hux’s hand (He did not grab it romantically or anything. You people, really. You can’t just read into every word a person says. At the time I was too fed up with him to even appreciate... ergm... back to the story). 

“Follow me, Phasma”

They marched down the hall quickly. Everyone wisely moved out of their way. The normal blacks, greys, reds, and whites of the first order had changed into many dashes of colors. People wore bright blue gloves or orange earmuffs to keep out the cold. People were only given regulated outerwear for cold climates on missions. In ships it was always the same temperature.

Hux wiped his eyes. “Where are we going? Are you using the force to find her?”

“No,” said Kylo, continuing to walk. “Too many life form to do it that way. It’s called common sense.”

“I didn’t think you had any. You’ve never used it before” Hux muttered.

“Quiet”

Finally they arrived at the room they wanted. It was pretty far from the officer's quarters. Hux didn’t think she could come all this way.

“Of course she could come all this way. Most doors open automatically, and she is small enough to fit through vents and mouse droit tracks.”

Kylo used the administrator’s password to get into the boiler room. It couldn’t heat up the whole ship, but it was on enough to warm the surrounding area. And there she was. Warm and cozy, napping on one of the smaller heating machines as if nothing ever happened.

“MILLICENT” Hux screamed. “MILLICENT MY DARLING! You’re alright!”

Millicent blinked her eyes open. “Meow”  
“Oh honey, of course you came here, you were cold! But I was worried sick!” he picked her up gently and she purred. “How about I get you a heating pad so you won’t have to come so far, you clever kitty?”

“Meow”

“Oh yes yes yes! Come on, let's head back.” Hux went into his own little world. He walked straight past Phasma and Kylo. He walked off, scratching her behind the ears. “Maybe the big stupid baby man isn’t totally stupid after all”

Kylo sighed. 

“Wanna play backgammon?” asked Phasma.

“Sure.”

 

Another story about my brave feats, dizzying intellect, and excellent intuition. It was a simple matter. If I were to be Millicent, I too could be found sheltering in the warmth of the boiler room. Adored and petted by Hux. _sigh_ Wait, what? Who said _that_? Haha.

So another wonderful adventure about the ship in the cold weather! Yes, the temperature got fixed eventually. No, Millicent hasn’t disappeared again... yet. And yes, my pink socks were very comfortable, thank you for asking. Phasma commented on them too. Said they were a bold choice. That’s me. Bold. Daring. I might wear them more often. Pink is very manly. 

That's how it went down. I know, amazing. How could one mere human be so accomplished and handsome AND be able to hunt down lost animals? Even my enormous mind can barely comprehend it.


End file.
